If a picture could speak 1000 words...

Dear the Unspoken,

These nuns are rubbing oil over their bald heads
after shaving their hair off as means of protest.

Top Fives Bitch! (Part Deux)

Dear bullets (not the deadly kind),

Since my imagination is lacking and my muscles are sore I will keep this one concise.

Things That are Hard to do With Your Left Hand Because You are Right-Handed:

1. Paint the finger-nails on my right hand
2. Brush my teeth (this combined with the mirror means up is left, right is down, and rinsing goes into my eyeballs)
3. Performing open heart surgery...alone
4. Being a pirate
   
5. Petting a unicorn

Things That are Hard to do With no Toes:

1. Walk
2. Walk faster
3. Run
4. Sprint
5. Fly

Things That are Hard to do With Toes:

1. Succeed at life.
2. Bake some delicious cookies.
3. Crawl
4. Properly use a microwave.
5. Hug a unicorn.

Tall Animals to Ride Around the World:

1. Giraffes
2. Elephants
3. Emperor Penguinos
   
4. Pandas (when they're standing on their tippy toes)
5. Hippopotamoose

Things to Give me for a Present:

1. A unicorn
2. A cookie
3. Peanut Butter
4. Kitty
5. A panda bear with a year's supply of bamboo
   

HAPPY HUMP DAY!

Tip the Scale

Dear Cords Under the Sea,

I first heard of 'viral marketing' from by big bro who mentioned it in passing I think when talking about SNL's Lazy Sunday. For those not in the know, viral marketing a phenomenon that uses "pre-existing social networks to increase brand awareness."

Using YouTube, Google Video and other such portals everyday yous and mes are able to sing, dance, laugh, and animate their innermost desires. However the fundamental factor in this so-called technique is that the primary mode of transmission is through word-of-mouth. Since it is all voluntary you as a internet celebrity in the making must find something that catches people, something amazing, shocking, or wondrous that will make them forward your link onto their friends. So there is a difference between posting a video of you covering Kelly Clarkson's latest tune and getting signed by Justin Timberlake, and that difference is popularity.

In today's day and age the effects of the information superhighways can not only increase the celebrity status of your college friends (think the Chinese Backstreet Boys) but can increase awareness on something perhaps a little more pertinent to the workings of the world. But on that note I'll stop before I get too serious.

Fun-LA!

Dear Zones of Time,

Ah...the end of the week for both me and you. Fun, eh? I think so. The week always starts out so full of pazzazz (sp?) and then seems to dwindle off. It is quite a rarity that someone looks forward to Mondays as much as yours truly. Alas, Monday is still a ways off so in the meantime I'll entertain with the traditional edumacation sum-up for the past week.

1) Australia participates in daylight savings too! See we are not forgotten down here.

2) People doing karaoke should be shot. Disregard all of my prior opinions regarding universal human rights as NO ONE should be subjected to some chickypoo singing into one of those portable machines. Think 6 billion people...times that by the number of ears each one has...throw some animals in there and those not yet born. I've never been a wiz at math but yeah thats about 100 billion people who don't want you to sing.

3) How to spell K-A-R-A-O-K-E

4) People see what they want to see. I was going to write that people hear what they want to hear but I'm hearing numero dos and my whole being is against it.

5) I have a distinct and strange emptiness in my body. Something is missing, something vital to my well-being and happiness has simply vanished...I haven't had a cookie in two weeks! Something is definetely wrong with the world. Hopefully, this predicament will be remedied tomorrow.

Have a spectacular weekend!

All for one?

Dear Likeness,

This article recently caught my attention for obvious reasons. Long story short the 60th Anniversary of the UN Declaration of Human Rights is coming up at the end of this year and in preparation a celebratory logo has been designed. The new symbol for universal human equality and dignity was drawn up by Yolande Mulke who commented on the symbolism, "I think what the UN likes about it is the continuity of using the wreath device from the UN logo and the feeling of peace and welcoming that the mad with his arms wide open projects."

But wait...does it look familiar? What about now?

The UN is suffering from a great buyers-guilt right now because the colours are strikingly similar to those used in the logo for Tibetan Resistance. Not realizing their mistake, the UN has said that it was, "an accident, and had no idea that the coulours were those of Tibet" and has planned to replace the older logo with Yolande's recently-controversial design.

Whoops-a-daisy!

a pinch and a punch!

Dear 1,

Here's a little something I stumbled upon:

It cannot be stolen by thieves, cannot be taken away by the king, cannot be divided among brothers and does not cause a load. If spent it always multiplies...The wealth of knowledge is the greatest among wealths.

I disagree. Knowledge is a load of crock. KIDDING! Gotcha, its April Fool's! Har dee har har.

On a serious note...

Dear Heart,

Today in one of my classes we discussed international aid within the context of the Millennium Development Goals. Briefly, the Millennium Declaration was signed in 2000 by 189 countries and stated eight highly ambitious objectives addressing major global issues including but not limited to poverty, health, education, and gender. This unprecedented effort has established a universal framework for development, and requires complex networks of coordination and cooperation from all hundreds of world players (states, NGOs, pharmaceutical corporations etc.).

A Map of Global Poverty

As part of this agreement developed countries have in one way or another reached a consensus and agreed upon how much aid (as a percentage of the Gross National Income) should be given to the various causes addressed in the MDGs. What percent do YOU think Canada gives to international aid? A similar question was asked to some people in the USA, and they responded something around 20% (although they thought it should be a lot less...along the lines of 8%). Though the international standard was set at a mere 0.7%, the reality is that the average financial effort is around 0.46% (the US coming in with 0.18% and Canada at 0.29%). Was that what you thought? Didn't think so.

So why is it that the percentage aid is so low? Why do we even commit to giving financial aid at all? Obviously there are many other factors at play. It is inherent that a country must be selfish -- it must first fix its own backyard before tending to other's gardens. So it is understandable that there are other priorities such as funding a war, improving education, building infrastructure etc. take priority in a government's eye. Yet, on the other hand do we not have a moral obligation to help those less fortunate than us? I think we do. The latter reason is not entirely altruistic though. With the present world order I strongly feel that the theory of the butterfly effect comes into play -- the gentle flap of one's wings in Sub-Saharan Africa could have devastating effects on a country in Central Europe. Therefore it is not only a moral obligation but also a global responsibility to fund and support efforts such as the MDGs, for something so great can only be achieved if everyone commits wholeheartedly.

Before the end of lecture the Professor asked a question, and now I turn that question to you: In the moment before you're born, before you know your race, your income, your future, how would you choose a global value system?