I like toast.

To my homeboys,

I'm bored.

I'm trying to decide whether I should enjoy the dying hours of daylight or take a nap. I'm leaning towards the latter because napping is pretty much the bomb diggity. Since I've got nothing of real substance to write about I thought I would just comment arbitrarily in point form...

-I've come to the conclusion that jam is too sweet for my taste buds. PB will now appear on all toast that is consumed by me

-I went to four stores today looking for the Link on the cover of Rolling Stone only to be utterly devastated because people are no longer selling it! Tear....who am I kidding??!! I'm effin bawling right now. Sad? No....merely dedicated to the cause.

-Skip-stepping is freakin awesome

-No matter how old I get the pimple part of puberty never seems to be over

-Enrigque's "Hero" is still as amazing as it was 5 years ago

-I think this post is proof that I need to get a life. That or nap. I have a life........a life in my imaginary land of Lillyput. There I am all. I am a flower, I am a giant, I am a boat and a star. I've also married and then divorced Anderson Cooper (don't worry we still remain BFFs), am currently engaged to Link Larkin. Oh....my hair is also long and flowy aaaand I can do the splits. There are also unicorns with their uni-horns.

DONE.(Cats are ugly)

Something a little different...

To those not faint of heart,

Defn of TABOO: proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable. The word is thought to come form the Tongan word "under prohibition" but is often used today to mean "sacred" or "holy" (Wikipedia).

National Geographic has taken this word to showcase the "seemingly bizarre and shocking practices from around the world." They've launched a TV show exploring everything from stomach scraping in New Guinea to the horimono in Japan and though some of the practices are absolutely disgusting to witness I find myself strangely drawn to these so-called taboos.

The traditional "long-necked" women found in Northern Thailand.

These rituals occur all over the world and for a plethora of reasons. Initiation rituals (and you thought pimples were bad...), sexual identity, identity in general, paying homage to one's ancestors, and just general freedom of expression are only some of the motives behind doing these unusual practices.

To add a sweet cherry on the bodily mutilating ice cream, NG has created a game called "How Taboo Are You?" which gives players two options from a long list of global cultural practices. Think about it as a wee game of "Would You Rather" except these choices are far beyond what I have ever thought of. Maori face tattoos.

Compare this to one of those "car-crash" analogies....or rather there is somebody next to you on the subway with an extremely large goiter and all you want to do is force your eyes to look away but all you are able to do is stare. All I can do right now is contemplate whether I want some rad crocodile skin etched into my back or be hung by metal hooks pierced through my chest for a few minutes. Tough choice. Literally.

The Ladies Choice

Dearest My Heart,

I think this might be my most important entry yet. I think the significance of what you are about to read is magnanimous and it just goes to show that you can love and dedicate yourself to one thing, one soul, one life....but all of that can be turned upside down and and scattered into a trillion tiny pieces within the blink of an eye.

I'm not saying that my fundamental feelings have been transformed, I am just opening my heart to more opportunities. Anderson Hays Cooper, international man of god-like qualities will always have a special and rather large compartment in my heart. But guys, lets get serious here....I need something more viable...someone that I might have more in common within....I need Link Larkin. You ladies probably now him as the adorable Zac Efron, but I think we all are in agreement when I say that as his puberty-ridden days come to a close he is the sun that rises from a stormy winter's night to shine upon all the gleaming snowflakes that have freshly drifted to the ground.

I shan't say anymore because his eyes speaker louder than any of my words can.
C'est tout.

P.S. Ummmm Link...I mean Zac, if you're reading this...GOTCHA! hahaha! Sometimes I like to get all creepy-like and totally stalkerish cause I think its funny. Not cause I'm at all jealous of your right hand holding your left pectoral...nooooo noo not at all. In real life I'm cool. Even my mom says so, so that's telling you something.

Busta Rhyme Not A Crime!

Dearest Link,

Sawasdee ka! This article was in the New York Times today and it caught my attention because the headline was squashed right in between "Georgia Accuses Russia of Firing Missiles" and "Israel Moves Settlers in West Bank". The actual headline, "To Punish Thai Police, a Hello Kitty Armband" is probably the strangest ummmm whats the word coupling (?) I've seen in awhile....okay, today...but whatever.

Anywhos the article is describing this new program the Thai popos in Bangkok are putting into place to try and discriminate those who are supposed to enforce law and order from breaking it. Apparently if you litter, you get an armband. If you abuse your parking privileges, you get an armband. If you fart in a wat, you get an armband. Okay...that last one was a lie but you get the gist. The success of the program is banking on the brilliant notion that no man's man or any member of the male species for that matter, would willingly want to sport a hot pink Hello Kitty armband complete with 2 linking hearts! Humiliation at is finest.

Though the idea came from the infamous 'broken window theory' (google George Kelling) I think it is absolutely brilliant. Its like having the Berlin Wall made out of lego, or fighting those terrorists by throwing lemon pies in their face....but in all seriousness, its cool cause its simple, is a little ridiculous and so far its worked. Mad props d-a-w-g.

In other news, I wish my life was a musical.

Like Ha Ha Ha Ha...Ha!

Dearest Keeks,


I mean why not? The ocean is its bathtub and a giant rubber duckie makes about just as much sense as an elephant picking its trunk with a spatula. Oh, snap!








Oh...sorry...this one somehow slipped itself in here, and I can't seem to figure out how to delete pictures. B-T-dubs this is Hil and me, just chillin out making silly faces and then LOL-ing our asses off cause our silly faces are too darn silly! Just another day in the life of me.






This is funny cause the little farm girl is yelling at the donkey and the donkey is yelling at her. Its like the Ultimate Fighter Challenge except that one of the contestants is a four-legged hairy beast thats named after an anus and the other one is this adorable little girl with a hankie around her head. Five bucks on the chick.

Q: What are you doing today?

A: Oh, running around the world.

Water Watch (National Geographic)
The Blue Planet Run






This is only slightly amazing and completely ridiculous. What I like about it though is that Al Gore is fat, makes a movie and becomes a hero, but these people? They like to run (a lot), they're just like you and me (except for that running 'round the world bit), and when this feat is all over its back to work.

How is the world covered in 70-75% water yet at least 1/6th of the world's population is unable to have access to safe drinking water? I have no clue.

Tonight I think I'll turn the tap off when I brush my teeth...

Rikkkky Tikkkky!

Dearest all,

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to write. I suppose I could pretend that I'm writing an email to my friends. OR I could pretend that I'm a dragon-fighting sumo wrestler who likes to eat spaghetti rather than sushi...tomayto, tomahto. Moving on....I seriously don't know what I'm supposed to "blog" aboot. This is like my diary but online so I can't really write mean things (Nicole sucks), and I can't reveal deep dark secrets (I love my blankie) so really there is nothing left in my life to talk about.

Well kids, I suppose thats the end of this blog. Its like those elevators in that school that worked perfectly for one time and then wouldn't work anymore because one elevator only went up and the other one only went down.....what book was that??? Dammit.


I have also decided to attach a picture of my would-be tattoo. Its would-be because I am a) seriously lacking in the Balls Dept. and b) I could most certainly see myself waking up when I'm 50 years old and be like "What the fuck?". Nonetheless its a high-larious idea brought to me/you by none other than my wee broda.


Speaking of wee things I've decided that my alien spawns are going to be dressed up in mullet wigs, perhaps only on Halloween....but most likely every day of the year. That way I don't have to worry about being one of those parents who when people see their offspring are like, "Ohhh....what an interesting child you have. Is the father human or did you mate with an albino organgutan?" Sweet.

Over and oot.