Almost Legit

To cargo pants everywhere,

This dude appropriately named Odbol has invented Drum Pants. "But L-Peezy," you ask "What is this crazy apparatus?" Well my friends, its pretty much drums sewn into some dude's pants. I KNOW. Though it sounds pretty dumb, and I must admit it is.....its like what?? Pockets weren't good enough??? Now my pants need to recreate percussion instruments?!?!

Odbol has broken down the traditional walls that have surrounded leg-garments. People are now capable of sporting pants which allow wearers (?) to beat out their own personal drum solos by tapping different parts of said piece of clothing. Through crazy technology and like electrons and maybe an atom or something, "the wearer thusly becomes a cyborg musician." Enough said.

I don't know....I feel I'm going to have to throw back to the good ol' days when kids were content with just making horsie sounds on their laps. To the races my comrades!

Odbol as a cyborg musician. Dum bum dum.

I Feel Fine.

To the cosmos of emotions,

Amongst a world of violence, Coca-Cola, and pollution, two men have turned back to what drives humans to act the way we do. There is an increasing amount of discourse about the expanding gaps within the global community that have prompted a series of reactions. For example, religion, sexuality, and gender all act as poles to which we find ourselves being pulled towards in an effort to transcend a feeling of anonymity. Another example might be aSmallWorld.net which is similar to Facebook but with a much higher level exclusivity.

Unlike these movements towards isolation, We Feel Fine is a project that reverts back to the basic human nature. Happiness. Anger. Jealousy. Guilty. Love. Awesomeness. All feelings of human emotion which are compiled to "explore human emotion on a global scale." This mind grenade was originally detonated in 2005 by Jonathan Harris and Sep Kamvar, computer scientists by day and internet anthropologists by night. They both set out with the objective to, "make the world seem a little smaller" by gathering thousands of human emotions that were shared on the information superhighway. The program works by scanning updated blogs (think Blogger, Flickr etc.) for the words "I feel" and "I am feeling." From there, information such as gender, age, and even weather are saved in a database and organized onto various interfaces. Users can then choose a preferred interface (We Feel Fine calls them 'movements') and sift through the millions of feelings felt worldwide. So that people do not feel intruded upon, We Feel Fine only gathers information that is posted online and vows to never associate individual human names with the results that are displayed.

As of 11 am this morning 9 million feelings have been gathered, and I must admit its nice to realize that somewhere out there someone also needs a tissue.

Expand Your Braindeezies in 2 Minutes!

To fun words,

In the spirit of the new school year I have a list of new words so I can talk gooder.

1) SNAFU - originally an acronym from WWII it stands for 'Situation Normal: All Fucked Up'. In modern terms it can be used in a context where something went awry in an otherwise A-ok situation.
Eg. Lillian thought her life was going as planned until she found herself in a snafu. She can now be found crying in a corner.

2) PANOPLY -a complete and impressive array of something.
Eg. Lillian's smile is a panoply of teeth. It can bring sight to the blind, food to the starving, and love to an otherwise violent snafu.

3) BEATIFY - (pronounced bee-ett-ify) to become a holy person i.e. declare a person (posthumously) blessed.
Eg. Lillian, though not dead, has been beatified because she saved the world from a self-destructing snafu with her panoply of a grin.

4) ACQUIESCENCE - acceptance without protest.
Eg. Lillian is now President, Prime Minister, Queen and Ruler of all things Kablamo. You believe this because you are in the state of being acquiescent.

Tips 4 Back 2 School Cool

To those wide-eyed kiddies,

1) Don't fart in lecture....it's not funny if you're a stranger, and if it smells I might just have to shin you.

2) Bring me a cookie and I will teach you how to earn a black belt in keeping it real.

Yep that's pretty much it kids. Follow the aforementioned golden rules and I will reach out my arms as shelter and guide you into utter awesomeness.

And for kicks here's my map project from first grade. Map = smrt. For a cherry-on-the-top situation I challenge you to name the continent pictured here! Its a stumper. Best of luck my fellow wookies.